How to Stop Being Self-Reliant and Start Trusting God: 5 Biblical Steps to Freedom

Are you exhausted from carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? Self-reliance promises control but delivers stress, burnout, and anxiety instead. The COVID-19 pandemic exposed just how fragile our illusion of control really is. But there is a better way. Here is how to stop being self-reliant and discover the peace that comes from trusting God completely.

The Dangerous Illusion of Self-Reliance

We live in a culture that celebrates self-reliance. "Self-made" is a badge of honor, and independence is often seen as the ultimate goal. But if we are honest, self-reliance often leads to stress, frustration, and burnout.

The truth our culture does not tell you: Self-reliance is not strength. It is pride disguised as independence.

As Christians, we are called to a different way of living (one that relies not on our own strength but on the power and guidance of God). Yet, letting go of control can be one of the hardest challenges we face. In times of uncertainty, like the COVID-19 pandemic, our tendency to rely on ourselves is often exposed, leaving us anxious and exhausted.

The good news: There is a better way. Overcoming self-reliance is about surrendering to God's plans, trusting His timing, and embracing the peace that only He can provide.

Why Self-Reliance Always Fails: The Biblical Truth

1. The Illusion of Control

Self-reliance gives us the illusion of control. We tell ourselves that if we work harder, plan better, or push through, we can achieve the outcomes we desire. But what happens when our plans fail? What happens when, despite our best efforts, life does not go the way we expected?

The COVID-19 pandemic revealed just how fragile our sense of control really is. Jobs were lost, plans were canceled, and the world seemed to come to a standstill. In moments like these, we are forced to confront a hard truth: we are not in control, but God is.

Biblical Truth: Proverbs 19:21 reminds us: "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

2. The Consequences of Self-Reliance

Relying solely on ourselves can lead to frustration, stress, and even pride. When we try to control everything, we often end up with anxiety and exhaustion instead of peace. Worse, self-reliance can push us away from God, as we start to believe we do not need Him.

Signs You Are Struggling with Self-Reliance:

• Constantly feeling stressed or overwhelmed

• Struggling to ask for help or delegate

• Placing your worth in achievements or outcomes

• Feeling anxious when things are out of your control

Key Scripture: 1 Chronicles 29:12 says: "Wealth and honor come from You; You are the ruler of all things. In Your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all."

How to Stop Being Self-Reliant: 5 Biblical Steps

Step 1: Acknowledge God's Sovereignty

The first step in overcoming self-reliance is recognizing that God is in control, even when life feels chaotic. This does not mean becoming passive, but rather understanding that ultimate control belongs to God.

Practical Application: Start each day by declaring, "God, You are in control of this day. Help me trust Your plan over my own understanding."

Step 2: Surrender Daily Through Prayer

Letting go of self-reliance is not about giving up. It is about letting go of the pressure to do everything on your own and trusting God to lead the way. This does not mean we stop working hard or making wise decisions; it means we surrender the outcomes to God and trust that His plans are better than ours.

Key Scripture: Psalm 37:5 says: "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act."

Daily Practice: Start each day by giving your plans, goals, and worries to God in prayer.

Step 3: Focus on Obedience, Not Outcomes

Trust that God will handle the results as you faithfully follow His lead. This shift in focus removes the pressure to control outcomes and allows you to walk in peace.

The Gideon Example: The story of Gideon in Judges 6 through 7 is a powerful reminder of God's ability to do more with less. Gideon started with an army of 22,000, but God reduced it to just 300 men. Why? So that Israel would know the victory was His, not theirs.

Lesson from Gideon: God does not need us to have it all together. He needs us to trust Him. Victory does not come from our strength or resources; it comes from God's power.

Step 4: Replace Fear with Faith

Feelings of fear and frustration are real, but they do not define reality. Turn to God's Word to remind yourself of His promises and His faithfulness.

Choose Faith Over Fear: Faith is not the absence of fear. It is trusting God in the midst of it. Declare daily that you will trust Him, regardless of your circumstances.

Step 5: Practice Gratitude and Humility

Practice Gratitude: Gratitude shifts your focus from what is missing to what God has already done. Take time each day to thank Him for His provision and grace.

Kill Pride with Humility: Pride is a major barrier to trusting God. When you acknowledge that everything you have is from Him, it humbles you and frees you to rely on His strength.

What It Looks Like to Fully Rely on God

During the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us felt the weight of uncertainty. Plans were canceled, financial stability was shaken, and fear seemed to dominate the headlines. But even in the midst of these storms, God remains faithful.

The peace you have been searching for: When we stop striving and start trusting, we experience the peace that comes from knowing God is in control. As Paul writes in Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

The Way of the King: Peace and Righteousness

Ultimately, overcoming self-reliance is about submitting to Jesus as King. His way is the way of peace and righteousness. As Christians, our greatest "harvest" is not material success. It is right standing with God.

Prayer and worship help realign your heart with God's will. Worship reminds us of who God is, and prayer invites Him into every aspect of our lives.

Your Next Step: Choose God-Reliance Today

Overcoming self-reliance is not easy, but it is worth it. When we surrender our plans, fears, and desires to God, we open the door to His peace and His purpose.

Start here: What steps will you take today to trust God more? Whether it is through prayer, worship, or simply letting go of your need for control, choose to rely on Him. Remember, His plans are greater, His peace is deeper, and His love for you never fails.

Today's declaration: "God, I release my need to control everything. I trust Your heart, Your timing, and Your plan. Help me walk in Your peace today."

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How do I know when I am being self-reliant versus God-reliant? A: Self-reliance focuses on your own strength and leads to stress when things do not go as planned. God-reliance acknowledges His sovereignty and finds peace even in uncertainty. Ask yourself: "Am I trusting my ability or God's ability to handle this situation?"

Q: Does trusting God mean I should not work hard or make plans? A: Not at all. God-reliance means working diligently while surrendering the outcomes to God. Make plans, work hard, but hold your results with open hands, trusting that God's plan is ultimately better than yours.

Q: What if I have tried to trust God before and things did not work out? A: God's definition of "working out" may be different from ours. He often uses difficult circumstances to grow our faith, redirect our paths, or accomplish purposes we cannot see. Trust His character and timing, not just outcomes.

Q: How can I overcome the fear of letting go of control? A: Start small by surrendering one area of your life to God each day. Pray about decisions before making them. Remember that God loves you more than you love yourself and wants what is best for you.

Q: Is it wrong to feel proud of my accomplishments? A: It is natural to feel satisfaction in good work, but remember that your abilities and opportunities come from God. Thank Him for your successes and use them to serve others and glorify Him.

Q: How do I trust God when I cannot see His plan? A: Faith means trusting God's character when you cannot see His plan. Focus on what you know about God (His love, faithfulness, and wisdom) rather than what you cannot understand about your circumstances.

Q: What is the difference between healthy independence and harmful self-reliance? A: Healthy independence means using the gifts and abilities God has given you responsibly. Harmful self-reliance means believing you do not need God and can control outcomes through your own strength alone.

Q: How can I help someone who struggles with self-reliance? A: Be patient and loving. Share your own experiences of learning to trust God. Pray for them and gently point them to Scripture about God's faithfulness. Avoid being preachy; instead, model what God-reliance looks like in your own life.

Ready to experience the peace that comes from trusting God completely? Start today by choosing one area where you have been trying to maintain control and surrender it to God in prayer. Remember, His plans are greater, His peace is deeper, and His love for you never fails.