“I’ve always wanted more for my…”

Have you ever heard someone say or said this statement yourself: “I’ve always wanted more for my ______?

It could be that you wanted more for your children or more for your life. This statement is said by all types of well-meaning people, that they want to provide “more” for their children than what they had. It sounds good and the intentions are harmless, but maybe the idea misses the target by a country mile and here’s why.

The issue with “more” is that we fail to define the specifics of “more. We often measure more in what we see, the physical. A larger home than the one we grew up in, better vehicles, more money, better jobs, more vacations, more things. The quest for more often winds up in a material trap, more becomes endless. If more is something that can be sold at a garage sale or brokered by a realtor, than shifting the context can make the outcome much more fruitful.

Let’s look at more in a different way –

• Instead of more home, what about a home where it’s safe to have sensitive conversations where peace and understanding rule?

• What if more was a true emotional connection with your spouse and children, where everyone is truly heard and validated rather than the facade we post on Facebook?

• What if more was defined by character development and internal identity growth rather than people-pleasing or performance?

• What if more was defined by an intentional harmony rather than living hurried, rushed, and “busy”?

MORE. Here’s a few more…

• What if more was defined as two loving parents who showed their children what humility actually functions like? When we apologize for our mistakes, forgive each other, and learn rather than brushing issues under the rug to keep up with some idea of perfection?

• What if more was prioritizing identity through spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental health? That a culture of soul health takes precedence over material gain?

What if “things” were icing and not the cake?

Sadly, many families live fractured lives, pursuing more at the expense of best.

We need to flip the script so that More is an internal decision of being rather than a measure of an external pile of stuff.

Now for you task-masters and achievers, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water – I’m one of you! I live in this tension daily. Heck, I just said “5 more minutes” to my oldest daughter so I can finish this blog post before we go outside.

Let’s flip the script. Let’s redefine more as a legacy that we leave in the hearts of our family and friends, rather than emphasizing the next “want” on the list. Let’s decide that more isn’t more stuff, nicer clothes, or better watches so we can look good on social media. The more to life functions through the rhythm of peace.

We are about to enter a new year, so let’s raise our expectation and redefine more in a way that will bring the outcome everyone is so desperately longing for – hope, peace, and love.